Formula One pigs
It’s a quiet time on the smallholding. And soggy. Really, really soggy. Bloody rain.
Pigs hate the rain nearly as much as me. They get grumpy and fed up. So do I.
Last night I was down there, hunkered over, shambling forwards against the weather like an old man executing a really long follow through on a bowling green. In my hand I carried a bucket full of feed. The yellow bucket is a beacon to hungry pigs. Dinner is the highlight to their day and they build themselves up to it.
I’m shambling, they’re screeching and screaming in what clearly translates to, “For Christ’s sake get a sodding move on, we’re bloody starving over here!” And the weather is pouring. Absolutely pouring. If it rained any harder I’d be handing out porcine cagoules (now there’s an idea for Dragon’s Den).
As I make my way closer to their area, I can hear them, but I can’t see them. Where the hell are they? Usually they’re there waiting for me, but there’s not an oinker in sight – until I look up at their house. The little darlings are all inside, looking out and screeching from the dry.
Nice one, I’m out here, soaked to the skin, looking like I’ve jumped in a lake while struggling to bring their food to them while they’re all nice and dry. I thought this was one for all and all for one. Pigs and man together.
Clearly not.
I clamber over the fence into their enclosure and still they don’t venture out. Bloody lightweights! “You bloody lightweights,” I yell at them.
The split second I make it to their trough, tip the bucket and the very first morsel of feed falls, they pounce. It’s like being in the pits of a formula one race. I’m Lewis Hamilton (minus the snazzy car. Oh, and the talent. The money. Good looks… Other than that you could hardly tell us apart), and suddenly I’m surrounded by my pit crew, all jostling and bustling around me. Even with icy rain running down my back and splashing into my face, it made me laugh.
The Voice FM
So I’ve made a decision for 2013. It’s not exactly a resolution, but it’s not a million miles away from one either.
The thing is, my life is quite isolated. I’m either writing on the computer or working on the land. Neither are spectator sports, so I tend to spend a lot of time on my own (most of it listing to podcasts).
There are lots of things I could do to get out once in a while, but I wanted something fun and exciting, something that would really get my blood pumping, so I’ve joined the local radio station. Good plan!
The Voice FM is based in North Devon but they are online so there’s no excuse for not listening to them if you’re out of the area (you’d be amazed how good it is).
The Voice FM
Quick bit of housework - Advertising with them is crazy cheap (sorry guys, but it is) £99 for 99 adverts! If you want to advertise, and why wouldn’t you, contact me and I’ll put you in touch.
Anyway, it’s early days, but still very exciting. As things evolve I’ll post on it again.
Podcast of the moment
Even if you’re not a writer, check this out. It's three American guys talking about writing and marketing their work. It’s funny and fully of ideas: The Self Publishing Podcast
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