It's a snowing!

Yep, we might have had a green Christmas, but we're having a white January, and here on Exmoor we're getting it bad.

Actually we had plenty of warning so i had the chance to bed everything down really well, so much so that when i went to see if the pigs were okay yesterday, I couldn't see them they were so snuggled in under the straw.

My only worry, my only kind of concern, is Georgie, my horse.  She's a chestnut mare; a fiery red headed female with permanent PMT - lovely to look at, but scary as hell to be around when she's pissed off.  And yesterday, she was pissed off, mainly because she couldn't go out and had to stay safe and warm in her stable.

I thought i was doing the right thing.  She, on the other hand, thought i was being wicked and cruel not letting her out to play, and the crazy thing is, if i had let her out all she'd have done is hang about by the gate waiting to come back in.  Honestly, there's just no pleasing some people.

Solly, however, did go out and had his first experience of snow - Opinion: it's not as edible as you might think, you know. 

Provisions
One clue to the weather being particularly bad is when my neighbours phone and say, "um, I seem to have only cheap nasty bread in the house - don't know how that happened - and i can't get to the shops because it's horrible out there.  Any chance you could make me a loaf?"

When it's cold out there is nothing like the smell of fresh baking bread (really quick and easy bread recipe is in an earlier post - you've got to try it!)

Podcast of the moment
Last week i thought I'd try this new feature, mainly because i listen to so many podcasts and some of them are fantastic.

This week it's got to be:

  It's life according to Daniele Bolellie, and while i don't agree with everything he says, it's still a brilliant listen.  Here's the link   If you have a podcast recomendation, please do let me know.

F1 pigs and The Voice FM

Formula One pigs
It’s a quiet time on the smallholding. And soggy. Really, really soggy. Bloody rain.

Pigs hate the rain nearly as much as me. They get grumpy and fed up. So do I.

Last night I was down there, hunkered over, shambling forwards against the weather like an old man executing a really long follow through on a bowling green. In my hand I carried a bucket full of feed. The yellow bucket is a beacon to hungry pigs. Dinner is the highlight to their day and they build themselves up to it.

I’m shambling, they’re screeching and screaming in what clearly translates to, “For Christ’s sake get a sodding move on, we’re bloody starving over here!” And the weather is pouring. Absolutely pouring. If it rained any harder I’d be handing out porcine cagoules (now there’s an idea for Dragon’s Den).

As I make my way closer to their area, I can hear them, but I can’t see them. Where the hell are they? Usually they’re there waiting for me, but there’s not an oinker in sight – until I look up at their house. The little darlings are all inside, looking out and screeching from the dry.

Nice one, I’m out here, soaked to the skin, looking like I’ve jumped in a lake while struggling to bring their food to them while they’re all nice and dry. I thought this was one for all and all for one. Pigs and man together.

Clearly not.

I clamber over the fence into their enclosure and still they don’t venture out. Bloody lightweights! “You bloody lightweights,” I yell at them.

The split second I make it to their trough, tip the bucket and the very first morsel of feed falls, they pounce. It’s like being in the pits of a formula one race. I’m Lewis Hamilton (minus the snazzy car. Oh, and the talent. The money. Good looks… Other than that you could hardly tell us apart), and suddenly I’m surrounded by my pit crew, all jostling and bustling around me. Even with icy rain running down my back and splashing into my face, it made me laugh.

The Voice FM
So I’ve made a decision for 2013. It’s not exactly a resolution, but it’s not a million miles away from one either.

The thing is, my life is quite isolated. I’m either writing on the computer or working on the land. Neither are spectator sports, so I tend to spend a lot of time on my own (most of it listing to podcasts).

There are lots of things I could do to get out once in a while, but I wanted something fun and exciting, something that would really get my blood pumping, so I’ve joined the local radio station. Good plan!

The Voice FM is based in North Devon but they are online so there’s no excuse for not listening to them if you’re out of the area (you’d be amazed how good it is).

The Voice FM

Quick bit of housework - Advertising with them is crazy cheap (sorry guys, but it is) £99 for 99 adverts! If you want to advertise, and why wouldn’t you, contact me and I’ll put you in touch.

Anyway, it’s early days, but still very exciting. As things evolve I’ll post on it again.

Podcast of the moment
Even if you’re not a writer, check this out.  It's three American guys talking about writing and marketing their work.  It’s funny and fully of ideas: The Self Publishing Podcast

Just a catch-up

… and, I’m back…

Sorry for the absence, I know it’s been awhile. Sometimes building this mad lifestyle just takes everything I’ve got. It’s not even how busy it gets, which it does, it gets crazy busy, but it’s all the rest of it, the struggling to keep my profile high enough so things happen.

That’s the key, if you were interested, in how to write for a living, keep your profile high enough so things happen.

And while I’m doing that, I’ve become more self sufficient than I ever was before.

That’s good. At least it feels good.

I’ve found some really fun self sufficient things lately that I’ll share with you in the next few weeks. Fun things, and a lot of funny stuff with the animals. But not now. Not this blog post. This blog post is just me chatting about how things have been since we last spoke.

This is catching up.

Okay, in less time than it takes to watch a single advert, here’s what’s happened: I lost my newspaper column – new editor, new ideas; I now write for lots more magazines instead; I bought three more pigs, some quail and gunny fowl; I have a new puppy great dane, Solomon

I received a copy of my new book from the publishers and nearly wet myself with excitement (it’s an advanced reader copy – the book itself isn’t out until June 2013)

I learnt how to make tomato ketchup and LOVE IT! (recipe to follow – you’ve got to try it, it’s brilliant); I got a mobile phone so taking photographs shouldn’t be the problem it used to be; the Great British Bakeoff inspired me, along with half the country, to bake more and now I make things most days, again recipes and details to follow; we had our best year ever for running courses and met some amazing people; I’ve become obsessed with listening to podcasts while doing loads of work on the land.

There’s loads more, but I’ll fill you in on that as we go.

Oh, there’s lots of new radio work too, both for the BBC and a great commercial station The Voice. More on that later, too.

2013 looks like it’s going to be really exciting, there’s even some stuff going on that I can’t tell you about yet, but trust me, it’s blow-your-socks-off amazing.

Anyway, I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, and I hope you have a happy, healthy, fun filled New Year and 2013.

Will post again in a few days.

Pitching to Simon & Schuster

Well, it's certainly been an interesting week.


I went to London, and not just any old part of London, but the offices of the publisher Simon & Schuster.

My publisher, Watkins Publishing, invited me up to present my book to the Simon & Schuster sales team.

The book, Pigs in Clover, is now written, accepted, edited, proofed and ready to go - though publication date is not until June 2012.

I have been to the offices of Watkins publishing before, but that was way back when they very first took me on, and they didn't really know me, so i was ushered from the street through the front door and shoved into the first empty office they could find, which happened to be the first door in. I didn't get to see any of the real fun stuff.

With Simon & Schuster is was completely different.

I left home at 5 in the morning - well i didn't want to be late! Got a train to Paddington, a tube to Kings Cross and was there, drumming my fingers at 10. The meeting was 11.45. I had a suit on and carried a laptop case that looked the part but actually only contained a packed lunch. With a long time to kill, I strolled around and bit by bit edged up towards the offices on Gray's Inn Road.

The building is modern and very smart. I'd walked slowly, but was still early and kind of hung about outside, and tried hard to shove the nerves that were building away. Then i went in.

Okay, so I'm guessing my mental image of a publishing house isn't that dissimilar to everyone else’s; open plan offices with people hunched over desks piled so high with paperwork that the person could hardly be seen, and piles, lots and lots of piles of what looked like manuscripts (slush piles?), teetering columns of books and stacks of cardboard boxes so you couldn't walk more than two paces in a straight line in any direction. 

That's what i think a publishing house should look like - and that's exactly what it did look like.  It was brilliant!

I had to sit on my hands in the open reception area to stop myself from rummaging through all the incredible books everywhere!

After a while i was called in.

The conference room was made from frosted glass with a table inside large enough to fit 50 people around it. Mine was a cameo appearance in a larger sales meeting, so i was wheeled in to do my presentation and fifteen minutes later was back on the street outside, my head spinning.

So that's it. Book has been pitched to the sales team. I really, really hope they liked it.

Time, as they say, will tell.

EDIT: Oops, that should have read 'publication date not until June 2013'.

Day one of a new enclosure

This is day one (actually, hour one) of pigs having been moved into a new enclosure in the woods.  Check out the New Girl - she's the very pretty kune-kune (who doesn't like a woman with tusks?).

The enclosure is more than 3,000 square metres in size, and is utter luxury for pigs, bless 'em!

I need to thank the Environment Agency for their help, advice, support and for supplying the fencing materials that made this new area possible - it's the first of four new areas in the woods.  If you have read bad things about the Environment Agency, rethink your ideas, and if you need advice and support, contact them. 

So this is it, a three minute video of pigs in woods.  Sorry about the poor quality, the sun was shining and we're not used to that on Exmoor - oh, and look out for the twelve visitors halfway through.

The fastest, easiest loaf of bread in the world

We've all been there: a friend phones you up and says, "come round, I'll put the kettle on," or "I'll open a bottle of wine..." and we quite happily trundle round, BUT, if that same person said, "come round, I've just put a homemade loaf of bread in the oven," we'd be on out toes and running round there faster than you can say, "I'll bring the marmite!"

Making bread is simple.

This is the stripped down, self sufficient way to make a great tasting (and smelling) loaf of bread.

Time:
20 minutes work
1 hour to prove
20 minutes baking

Ingredients:
400mls warm water
650g bread flour
1pk dry yeast (1.5oz fresh yeast)
desert spoon sugar
Teaspoon salt

Method:
In a small-ish mixing jug, add tot he warm water the yeast and sugar.  Stir and leave for 10 minutes.

Meanwhile, in a large mixing bowl, add the salt and flour.

Pour the yeast solution into the flour and combine.

Tip out onto a lightly floured surface, and knead for 10 minutes.

Place kneaded dough onto a lightly oiled baking tray, or into a bread tin.

Leave for an hour somewhere warm to rise (double in size).

Bake for about 20 minutes at 175 degrees (tap bottom - if it sounds hollow, it's ready, if not, put back for a further 5 minutes and repeat.)

That's it!  That's all there is to it!  So, so simple.

Come on, make a loaf of bread this afternoon, it will cheer you up immensely.

Homemade chocolate easter eggs

How great is it to make a homemade Easter egg? And they're so easy! Okay, you might get yourself and the kitchen covered in chocolate, but as Shep said today on their Shep and Jo show (if you haven't heard the Shep and Jo show on BBC Radio Devon, where have you been...!?), when they very kindly allowed me on again this afternoon, you are just going to have to lick it all off!

Right, eyes down for homemade Easter eggs...

This is how to make an Easter egg using the shell of a real egg as the mold.

So, first you need an egg. You can get eggs in all different colours:

Green
Blue
Pink
White
Dark brown

And different sizes:

Quail
Goose
Chicken
Bantam

Now, empty the egg, and you do this by taking a needle and digging away the the pointy end of the egg until you have a hole about the diameter of a pencil. When you have done that, take a cocktail stick (or anything similar) and dig about inside the egg, kind of mulching the contents so when you tip the egg up, the insides fall out - you can of course tease it out with the cocktail stick.

So now you have an empty shell.

Now run it under a hot tap so it fills with water, and empty it out. Do this several times until the water runs clear.

Now you need to sterilise the egg shell, so pop it into a pre heated oven at 180 for at least 10 mins.

That's your mold!

Now you have choices (choices are good!) for the fillings.

Option one:

Simple, melt a bar of chocolate and pipe it into the egg shell using either a piping bag or something like a sandwich bag with the corner cut. When the egg shell is full, place it in the fridge to chill overnight. When it comes out it will, fairly obviously, be a hard, solid chocolate egg. if you very carefully peel away the shell, you can decorate the egg or leave it plain.

Option two:

This is for a soft chocolate fill, truffle chocolate (also known as a ganache). Truffle chocolate is easy to make, this is how:

Ingredients:
275g/10oz chocolate
175mls/6floz double cream
25g/1oz butter

Method:
Melt the chocolate, add the double cream and butter and stir until thoroughly mixed. That's it!

Fill the egg with the same method as option one, and chill in the fridge.

Decorating the shell or not is up to you, but serve in an egg cup at room temperature and eat as you might a boiled egg by chopping off the top and dipping in with a spoon, of course watching for any egg shell especially for children.

Happy Easter everyone!